Something Different ...

Again i'm now on the crossroads of my life with the same question where to go ? Living around with people with their laid on dreams/destinations making me ponder in and out every now and then.

The first similar experience was when i was preparing for my IIT Joint Enterance Exam(JEE) , the day i cleared screening test(preliminary test) , one of the major things going in my head was " I don't want to graduate(manufactured) from IIT tagged as One More Mechanical, Computer Science, Electronics, Chemical Engineering or similar trades." I think i'm too crazy for such sincere and hard working trades.
Main Exam results came, i got through that also, before final counselling session again this thought started to continously bang in my head. I had no idea what to do. People would kill to get into IIT and here i was thinking of other possibilities(one thought was surely of getting into NDA). Luckily (or should i say , because of my poor ranking in main exam) i got into B. Des. - Bachelor of Design . For people who don't know abt this, hold on that thought - this is nothing related to fashion design,interior design or somethign related to this :P. Go look out for Product Design , Industrial Design, Communication Design , HCI , Usability etc. for related info abt the course. The day i got to know that i was being admitted to design course , i was really really happy and this feeling was much stronger than clearing the main exam itself.

And here i'm today, i would be graduating as Industrial Designer in few months from now and have no idea watsoever about my days of 1 year ahead of this time.Few times i made myself think really hard to consider what i want to do , and for that i had to lure myself by saying like this, "Ok what if the Genie asks you for what you want to do for living , what would you answer ?". The answers which i came up with were that random that now i feel ashamed of even thinking that.

Still my heart/head screams gently ,

"I want something different .."

and a voice from somewhere comes (i guess its my goodwill genie:P)

"Not Again !!"

Freinds around me have started sewing their future into CAT, GRE and some have made it clear to crack into the top recruiters. Here i see people of different types :

- Who know exactly what to do (One aim)
- Who just follow and try to prepare for everything following the trends of times and will choose on later on with the best possibilty.
- Others, (whose no is very less) like me are still waiting for God to come down on Earth and tell us what to go/opt for and start looking forward.

The people of second grouping majorly try to follow the first group people , cause they just want to succeed(read as :make money n live happily!), nothing else matters in their life. These two group starts off making snap judgements about the other persons around them for not choosing a Definite path making the third group people eventually end up living this imposed life, too much irritated from the pricks of society,friends and even from the family. I don't remotely mean to say that they are wrong or right from my point of view, because i can make out that they are also human being and part of society that values its inhabitant based on the pre-defined definition of success,resulting in their thinking and comments there-upon.

What happens to the other third group people : "Are they dead,alive or they found any other institution in life (certainly as i got B Des in IIT : which served and satisfied both -me n society) ?" still remains unanswered and maybe i will someday tell about what happens to one of them

OR

maybe write again desperately justifying the reason 'Why i went for second option.'


Disclaimer : No offense meant to the usual trades and realm of society. This is just another musings of a confused to-be-graduated student.

Resurgent Hope

My last night of my runaway holidays.

I just kinda ran away from my life to meet my family , rejuvinate myself and start off fresh to start working or atleast do something .I was kinda feeling dead as a dodo pushed under loads and loads of debries of questions which used to exaggerate while watching Discovery's Travel and Living.
Now Relation between My present and this Television channel, hmm quite a challenge to make out the realtion between the two. The thing is more i get close to the decision of 'What i want to do with my future' , i'm just in the middle of this thought and than gushes out all that lust for Objects of Desire,Leisure and activities i wanna do (watching all on that channel) confussing me more and more bring back old memories of places and peopl. Take , for example, i was watching Floyd Uncorked and all i wanted was that host's place, feeling like a small kido who wants to have every single toy he laid his eye on.

Well now i havent seen much of life still ,the most of it is yet to come for sure , but these some 20 yrs of conciousness has proven one thing.

Life is much more simple when you’re young

Well i caught hold of these lines in a song and it fits into what i was thinking abit. Feast upon :

Although we see the world
Through different eyes
We share the same idea of paradise

Well one thing added more to my paradise : my ipod mini , well something is better than nothing , i wishing for an ipod (20/40 GB). Still i liked the pod . So now i can also say ..

I Pod , Do You ?

Whats on ur list ?

Every time i sit back to analyse what i have done , what need to be done and what else is there to follow , well the only conclusion of this great and heavy thinking process is 'a good 2/3 hour' immediate sleep.

Many things are right now on my mind which are really important to me as they gonna affect my future and when i start to organise myself so that i don't miss out anythig , i end up messing the present life. All my life(whatever i can remember), its been like "You have to sacrifice your today to get a better tomorrow and when that tomorrow comes you think again to sacrifice that day for something bigger or more pleasent".

Where i'm today , is the result of me surrendering some momentarily earthly pleasings(well they seemed like , i'm cutting off one of my arms , at that moment). And today when i look forward , it seems like life saying to you , " Kiddo , Let the game begin ...its just the first orientation stage" and now i'm scared of what lies ahead.
Well the To-Do list is growing by the day ,or should i say growing by the hour and look at me i dont wanna do any of those things , something more pleasent is on my mind , the thing taking up my night schedules [:P] andthe complexities in there are more comples than reading and understanding my posts !

So where are you people , is your life also in deep waters , or is it only me over-reacting and acting like a weak chuchu. If u think , i'm just talking stupid , please do tell whats on ur list , what's the biggest problem you are facing right now ...cuase i kinda feeling good to know that i'm not alone ..in facing problems. (i'm human , feels good to be known that i'm not AloNe). I need a re-birth with a bit simpler life.

...well watever going on in life ,i think the attitude to follow righto is

" ...... BRING IT ON"
(thats kinda my MOTO for life)

Restart

..Time to wind up with my past , and start of a new semeseter,year and future. Writting from my department , well the new computers have been issued , and the comps are simply great , never expected IIT to give students that good comps with CD/DVD writer on each computer , isnt that great (as per our institutes previous 'facilities') . Have to strat thinking about what m gonna do , about my final year projects , GRE, CAT, Job ehhhhhh , that much burden on these small shoulder :P

And some people are just enjoying their holidays still , hmm now m jealous , wish i could also have travelled to such nice places.

Well starting from yesterday , i just deleted all my music collection , which was refined through long 3 years of my college life and believe me it was very good collection of around 20 GB of mp3s . Thinking of doing some minor changes also to my system ...and here comes one more long list of shopping . he hee ...Thinking of shopping , now i really need one shopping assistant (specially , as i need to buy specs), and you know what the best shopping assistant i ever had , is now holidaying and more-ever this assistant cant help me any more (..and i'm sad again).

I'm back to my college , so i think i should change my blog tittle from 'office whites' to 'college heat'.

Well the last summer was the best i ever had , couldn't just help myself getting out of that place. Still feeling sad a bit. Trying to cheer up by imagining what lies ahead once in my life . Meet families and old friends. Yet the feeling of losing somegood pals still dominates. Can't hold myself everytime i remember all friends that i left behind in Holland and Wageningen in particular, especially those who has very little probability of meeting again due to different country origin *sigh*

Seems like my heard has divided into three pieces in which two of them are broken now (one in holland, one in some other place). Hopefully the remaining one third will strong enough to help me recover soon and complete my graduation and then advance further in my life.

Missing you all already, each and everyone of you

*yes you, its u who i miss the most, now dont ask me who i mean*


this above text has been inspired from another blog by a friend who is also in the same condition as mines , and you know me , m a lazybone to write such good things , but honestly these things are also going on with me ..reallly really true.